Motor and Fuel Economy

An article about motors for automotive applications was published in the spring of 2005. In the Japanese version, it read as follows:

近年，ABC製品の市場は軽自動車，小型自動車から中型自動車へと規模が拡大している．その技術的背景としては，

・運転者の操舵をアシストするモータの高出力化への対応
・制御システムによる多様な操舵性能への対応
・燃費向上，環境負荷への低減

が挙げられる．

In the English version, the phrase in red was translated as:

• Improved fuel economy and less burden on the environment

This is translation is not too bad. However, the rewriter suggested the following:

• Simplified packaging and reduced mass for improving fuel economy and environmental compatibility

Why such a drastic change from the original translation? In the Japanese version, we can guess that the car has improved fuel economy and puts less burden on the environment in terms of greenhouse emissions. However, the subject of the original is not a car, but the ABC motor! Electric motors don't have fuel economy--they don't burn fuel. So, the original translation is illogical since the topic is features of a motor and not a car.

The rewritten sentence in blue focuses on what the motor has to offer if used in a vehicle.

When writing in Japanese, it is a good idea to consider that fact that your work will be published in English. Use a logical approach to your thinking and your writing. This will result in a clear and concise Japanese original, and will facilitate a smoother translation that more closely reflects your Japanese original.

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